This Sux!!!

Lord, I know you've brought me this far in life for a reason, I don't know why... I thought when I reached this age you would have a lot more clear direct and step by step plan of what I need to do with my future. Unfortunately, that is definitely not the case... Lord, PLEASE, help me to know what to do with my future!!! Everything's messed up right now!!! I've given all I've got in as many areas of my life as I feel I can. I've worked soooooooooooooo hard for the grades I have right now. But yet those two classes are killing me!!! I want, with all my heart, to do right now all I can to make a successful future for myself, but instead everything I try to do...what seems to be in your plan and your will, gets messed up. I can't work without having people out to get me...even to the point of now every move I make being in pain. I don't understand!!! I'm trying, Lord!!! I've given you all I have!!! I've given all I have for every relationship I have, but no, they aren't relationships I should have. And the ones I should never workout cuz I can't do enough to please that person. LORD!!! YOU ARE ALL I WANT, YOU ARE ALL I NEED!!! I WAN'T TO FEEL YOU, I NEED TO HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please give me peace, please heal this heart of hurt and unforgivefulness!!! Please help me to move past this and enjoy life to its full, like you've designed for me to live. Please help me to get through this pain, knowing that you suffered far worse!!! Please humble me and move me back to the hurts of others and quit revolving on my own stupid self. Please help me to get over all the past, all I've missed out on, all the broken relationships and people I so GREATLY miss!!!! Lord, I want the purpose of me living to bring glory and honor to YOU!!! Please help me to do ALL I can to achieve that first and foremost!!! Please help me as I try to move these other people, who are so greatly burdening me out of my life, and move past that. I LOVE YOU, LORD with all I am, all I have been, and ever will be!!!!!!!!!! Please help that to show in my life!!!!!!!!!! And to my big sis!!! and her most beautiful lil baby girl!!!!! I <3 YOU FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND FOR LOVING ME, EVEN WHEN THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU will ALWAYS have a VERY special place in my heart that no one in this world could ever fill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!